I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
