his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
