just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
