Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
