i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
