ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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