I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
