it was like his penis was on wheels.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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