Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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