a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
