Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
