What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
only if we run a train.
done.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
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You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize