I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
