You're so nebulous sometimes
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
