matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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