am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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