I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
