dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
