So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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