if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
