Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
