After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
