I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We had to coat check the pizza.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
