Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
