im about as happy as oj after his trial
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
