Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
