Don't you send me to vm
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
