Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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