I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
