If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
