Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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