My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
