GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
