if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
