the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
