She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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