if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
