fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
