my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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