saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
