Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
