She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
