you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
