Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
