id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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