what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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