dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
