you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Life is so much better after having sex.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize