i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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