the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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