So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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