Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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