Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
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They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize