idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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