Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
