Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
