Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
