no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
