i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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