Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
