Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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