The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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