i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
