Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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