pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
